Diane, 11:31 p.m.
Just finished washing up and ready for bed.
This morning I showered for nine minutes.
I found 17 hairs. Three curly, 14 straight.
I used a balsam shampoo along with a conditioner
courtesy of the hotel and delivering what it promised: A silky manageability.
Cotton towel by Fieldcrest with just the right amount of absorbency.
Consumed 15 doughnuts today, Diane. All jelly.
I'll be injecting my insulin in four minutes.
Diane, slept great last night.
I've got to find out what kind of sheets these are.
Not cotton, not rayon. Silky. Damn fine sheets.
I'm gonna get naked and slide around in them.
Cooper. Great news.
We found out who killed Laura Palmer.
It was Leo. He just confessed.
Harry, I'm glad you're here.
Tonight we're gonna go up to One-Eyed Jack's disguised as Indians.
Hawk said we could borrow his buckskins with the eagle feather.
Cooper, listen. Leo confessed. Leo turned himself in.
That's good news, Harry. Another piece of the puzzle.
- Won't be long now. - No, no. No, no.
Leo confessed. He really did, honest. It's over.
We found the murder weapon in the truck.
His fingerprints match.
We even have a videotape of it.
Harry, in the FBI we're trained in one very important thing:
To look beyond the obvious.
Now, this videotape is helpful, but last night, I had a dream.
In that dream I saw a hairless mouse with a pitchfork
singing a song about caves.
I surmise these are the same caves at the Packard's sawmill.
Harry, tonight you and I are gonna do a little spelunking.
I guess you heard I did it.
I'm ready to do my time. Get me a beer.
Harry, this certainly puts him high on the list of suspects.
See he doesn't leave town.
Special Agent Cooper.
I wanna thank you for finding the man who killed my daughter Laura.
Now that it's over, I'm gonna miss you.
Dance with me.
Leland, I'm afraid that your celebration may be a bit premature.
Laura's killer is still at large.
What?
Cooper, Cooper. Why did you say that?
Leland was starting to recover.
Oh, don't worry about Leland.
His dancing is actually getting quite good.
- Agent Cooper. - Audrey.
Did you dig up any new leads at the perfume counter?
I quit that job as soon as I found out that Leo did it.
That's right. I'm the one.
I'm talking to Audrey.
I got pictures, see?
Here's me, about to kill her.
Here's me killing her.
Here's me wrapping her in plastic.
I just wanted to say goodbye, Agent Cooper.
I want you to take this with you.
I just have to finish wrapping it.
Thank you, Audrey.
Harry,
tonight we'll stake out the graveyard disguised as altar boys.
Oh, no. No we won't, Cooper, and I'll tell you why.
Because the crime has been solved already. Leo confessed.
Okay, we'll go to One-Eyed Jack's disguised as Eskimo seal hunters.
- No, Cooper. - How about Vegas?
- No. - It's fun.
Come off it, Cooper.
Harry, I've got it.
I'll throw this rock at the window. If it breaks, Leo is innocent.
Leo, you're free to go.
Look, Cooper.
I know you have interesting methods
and I don't blame you for you loving your work.
But seeing as this crime is solved already
I'd like to move on to an unsolved crime.
Look, I did it.
You think those notes I sent you were a joke?
What notes?
Those notes right there.
"Dear Agent Cooper,
I killed Laura Palmer. Signed Leo Johnson.
Dear Agent Cooper, wondering if you got my first note
re: My killing of Laura Palmer. Signed Leo Johnson.
Dear Agent Cooper, why no response about me killing Laura Palmer?
Are you still on the case?
If not, please forward to proper authorities. Yours truly,
Leo 'the-murderer-of-Laura-Palmer' Johnson."
Agent Cooper.
I understand you're returning to Washington.
This is my silent drapery runner.
Please see that it gets to the patent office.
That is all.
- Cooper, I'm gonna head out too. - Not yet, Harry.
We still haven't heard from the Log Lady.
Cooper, you're not gonna hear from the Log Lady.
Why not?
Well, there's only two women on Saturday Night Live
and we've already used them both up.
Hi.
My log says Leo did it. That's all, I gotta go.
Harry, this town never ceases to amaze me.
Well, you can come back and visit any time. Let's go, everybody.
No, wait. Well, look, maybe Leo did kill Laura Palmer,
but we still haven't figured out who shot me.
I did. Jeez, you saw me.
All right, let's go everybody. Nothing more to see.
Well, Diane,
I guess I'm gonna be heading home several months earlier than I planned.
I suppose I might as well.
Because for the first time in my life,
here in this beautiful town of Twin Peaks, I feel alone.
Hopelessly alone.
Hello, little friend.
It's okay.
Say, I thought I might go to the diner for a slice of cherry pie
before I leave town.
My friend, I've got a feeling they do.
You know what?
On second thought, I think I'll just call it a night.
That all right? Nothing personal?